There Is No Courage Without Vulnerability

Like many of us, I have been drawn to Brené Brown since I watched her Ted Talk on vulnerability (if you haven’t seen it, go watch it immediately!). So it was no surprise that I was glued to the TV watching her Netflix spacial, “The Call To Courage.”

In case you don’t know, Brené Brown is an expert in shame and vulnerability. Through her research she has determined that vulnerability is essential to experiencing joy, authenticity and connection in life. She also acknowledges that vulnerability has roots in shame, trauma, fear, and pain. Many of us spend time trying to avoid the negative side of vulnerability, but as a result we sacrifice the beauty of it as well. 

In “The Call to Courage” Brené Brown points out something that many of us grew up believing to be true:

Courage = a valuable strength
Vulnerability = a shameful weakness

As kids we saw courage in Disney movies and looked up to adults when they acted strong and brave. We were also rewarded when we acted bravely ourselves. We were told that boys shouldn’t cry and girls should do what it takes to be pretty and pleasant. More or less, we received the message that we must mask our true selves, for being truly seen will lead to rejection. 

Clearly there is a problem here. How can we be courageous without being vulnerable? Brené Brown says we can’t. True courage comes when we decide to take a risk without knowing the outcome. It means being showing up and letting yourself be seen, despite the risk. When you show up in this way, you open yourself up joy and connection, but you can only do it by accepting that there could be pain. 

Brené closes her talk beautifully with the following statement: 

“Here’s the thing. I’m not gonna bullshit you. Vulnerability is hard, and it’s scary, and if feels dangerous. But it’s not as hard, scary or dangerous as getting to the end of our lives and having to ask ourselves, ‘What if I would have shown up?’ What if I would have said I love you?’”

How does this concept speak to you? Do you think courage and vulnerability are one in the same? Please share in the comments below!