Reframing Anxiety… Friend not Foe?!

Anxiety can suck. If you are someone that struggles with it on a regular basis then you know better than anyone. Maybe you experience it as a sinking feeling in your chest or stomach. Maybe your palms get sweaty, your heart starts racing and your thoughts start running a mile a minute. Maybe you avoid certain people, places or situations because you are terrified of having another panic attack. 

Anxiety makes us feel out of control, like the walls are closing in on us. When we feel this way, our natural human instinct is to react and figure out how to regain control. So we micromanage our internal and external circumstances in whatever way that provides relief. This can be helpful in the moment, but these decisions often move us further away from our long term goals and values. 

Example: Choosing to isolate instead of going out with your friends. Staying at home by yourself may help relieve your social anxiety, but it distances you further from your desire to have close connections with others. 

If you think of human evolution, the role of anxiety makes more sense. Looking back to caveman times, feelings of anxiety were incredibly useful for survival. It would let you know when something dangerous is near, cuing you to act quickly in order to protect yourself and your family. Fast forward to the 21st century and we see the extent of these threats are no longer present, yet anxiety persists. 

What we need to understand is that anxiety itself is not a threat. It cannot physically harm you. Instead of fearing and running from it, try to allow some space for curiosity. What triggers you to become anxious? What happens to your body? What happens to your thoughts? What behaviors do you engage in or avoid? Gaining clarity on these questions can help open up space to explore other ways of coping that help bring you closer to a rich and meaningful life. 

Befriending your anxiety may feel like a strange concept and something you have never considered before. You should ask yourself, has running from or fighting with my anxiety helped create a more a rich and meaningful life? If the answer is no, it may be time for a new approach!