You've Been Hooked!

Since opening my private practice, I have become more and more drawn to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. This model differs from other therapy models in that it focuses on mindfully allowing difficult thoughts and feelings to reside, rather than change them or get rid of them.

Anxiety, for example, can feel uncomfortable both mentally and physically. Our tendency is to engage in a behavior that will help us to change, distract or eliminate the feeling. This is a natural human response, but sometimes the behaviors we choose take us farther away from the life we want to be living. Instead of fighting, what if we created space for the feeling to just be?

When we don’t create space but instead let our thoughts and feelings run our decisions, we become hooked. We use evidence from the past or fears of the future to deem our thoughts and feelings as fact. But here’s the thing, our thoughts and feelings are subjective. The content is not based on science, it is based on our complex and biased inner world. As imperfect humans, we need to take our thoughts and feelings with a grain of salt. One way to do this is to literally “unhook” yourself using the following visualization technique:

Imagine you are standing in an empty room with a separate entity containing your thoughts and feelings. Imagine there is a metal hook attaching you together. Through a window you see all the things you care about - your family, your friends, your favorite activities, passions, and dreams. You want to go out there but your thoughts and feelings tell you “no, you must stay inside and listen to us!” You look down at the hook and realize you don’t have to listen. You reach down to unhook yourself and walk out the door.

Our thoughts and feelings often test and confuse us. This visualization serves as a reminder that they will not harm us and we don’t have to let them run our lives.

To be clear, unhooking yourself will not make your thoughts and feelings disappear. They will likely follow you out the door and reattach the hook. But you have the power to mindfully unhook yourself again so you can turn your attention to the things that matter.

If Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) feels like it might be a good fit for you, click here and schedule a free phone consultation with me!